This reaction can intensify to the point where we project an alliance and attachment onto or with the pop star with whom we most identify. The concept behind reactive projection is that gay men often ex-peri-ence a strong reaction with pop stars as we relate their tribulations to similar struggles we feel we face in our own lives – the need to be embraced or validated, for example, or the struggle to either be “relevant” or stay relevant as we age. “This struggle and the perceived victory over the struggle – think Britney – only adds to the perceived ‘fabulousness’ of our female icons.”
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“We as gay men often see female pop stars – especially when the star has been perceived to have had to really fight or struggle for her dominance or longevity, like Taylor, Madonna or Cher – with our own struggle for full acceptance regarding our sexuality,” Larsen says. This gay fascination is something that Jeff Larsen, a psychotherapist and sexuality expert in San Diego, calls “reactive projection.” Many queer men have an almost obsessive connection to their pop stars – one that is deeply passionate and emotionally layered. For letting me know that my confusion about Catholicism and God and the universe was valid and that we can piece together every part of what makes us feel good about them until we think it’s right. For being a voice for the Gay Community when no one else would even associate with us. For teaching me to express myself and for loving me regardless of how much I hated myself. For entertaining me with endless songs, videos, interviews and films and making me forget my problems. For being a familiar face and voice when I was having a horrible day. For being the only constant in my life since the day I was born. “Is it about her, her music, her message? I love Madonna for all of it. “I always get asked why I love Madonna so much,” he began, no doubt a response to his consistent and fanatical online devotion to the musician. Philip Petro, a staunch Madonna fan, took the time to passionately describe why he has dedicated much of his life to stanning one of pop culture’s most distinguishable figures. Personally, I often feel empowered in my femininity through their music and it’s helped me feel comfortable in it,” said another. “Female pop stars often are strong in their femininity or redefine it and are not ashamed. “Gay men use women as avatars for themselves,” one Twitter user said, and this perspective quickly collected several Likes. But, fortunately for me, I’ve got Gay Twitter to consult – and its users never disappoint. Since Posh, I haven’t experienced the same level of hopeless devotion towards a pop artist. Admittedly, I am not as hard of a “stan” as others. Cher, Madonna, Ariana, Taylor, Gaga, Kylie – you name her and she’s got legions of hard-stanning homosexuals who’ve assembled shrines immortalizing her in their bachelor apartments. To idolize a female pop star is nothing new for queer-identifying men. I even followed her devastatingly short-lived and substandard solo music career. Truth be told, Posh was my first crush, and when she married David Beckham I was genuinely hurt, because I loved her. Whenever she’d seductively point her finger at the camera – her signature move – I’d squeal. Mine? Victoria Beckham, the fashion-savvy Spice Girl with resting bitch face and the fewest verses on any of the girl group’s iconic, coming-of-age tracks.
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Pop culture is the gay religion and pop stars are our goddesses…Įvery gay has his icon, and I am no different.